Zombie Ap-ololol-calypse

As one of the few survivors of the recent zombie apocalypse, it’s ironic that I sometimes find the zombies themselves to be quite humorous. But humorous they can be!

My uncle owned a sniper rifle, but now that he fits in well with all of the other mindless new inhabitants of the world, my baby – as I call her - is now mine. As brainless as they are, zombies have a nasty habit of sneaking up on us survivors when we least expect it. Nothing ruins a good Spam-tastic dinner like a stinky, murderous zombie. That’s when my baby comes in handy. One or two quick close-range shots from the hip and those zombies fly through the air like ragdolls, their limbs spinning ‘round.

One female zombie ran up on us in the middle of the street, but two quick bullets sent her flying head-first into a nearby mailbox. After an older zombie businessman in a suit and tie took a shot at point-blank range, he flew up and hit his head on a street light before coming crashing back down to earth. Another zombie lost all of his motor skills and ran straight into a wall.

Every day is a new adventure and every day brings more laughs. The king of all zombies, the muscular behemoth known only as the “Tank” ran into my unsuspecting party in a subway station one evening. This Tank decided that I was his primary target, and I ended up jogging almost a mile backward as I constantly circled around the ticket booths, shooting all the while. It took several clips, but the mighty beast finally fell face-first into a spilled soda cup.

One of my favorite moments had to be when my party and I were on the roof of the hospital, waiting for a local news chopper to come rescue us. A swarm of zombies came up from the lower floors and began to encircle us. A friend of mine shot one of the nearest zombies in the leg with a shotgun, causing it to trip and plop awkwardly on all fours. The line of zombie’s right behind this undead gentleman immediately began to trip over him, and the entire group began to fall domino-style all around us. In a few moments, their entire circle lay flat. The chopper landed on the helipad on the other side of the roof, and I simply used the back of one of the zombies to launch myself over the fallen bunch. It wasn’t until the chopper was flying away with its four new passengers that the zombies were able to untangle themselves and stand up once more. It was a little hard to see through the helicopter's small windows, but it almost looked like to me that there was a little embarrassment expressed in those undead faces.

(This entry was based on and inspired by Valve’s zombie apocalypse video game, Left 4 Dead, currently available for the PC and Xbox 360)